Vows

I have a confession to make. At my wedding, when I was told to repeat the vows, I wasn't fully there. It was all kind of hazy, weird - not like I thought it was going to be. Maybe it had something to do with all the booze I was drinking a couple hours before (just kidding, Honey...and Jake [father-in-law]).

Seriously though, the only thing that was going through my mind was my voice not cracking, not throwing up and wanting to check my zipper for the hundredth time. I remember feeling white. I don't even know if that's possible, but it was for me that day. I just knew I was the whitest dude in the room. I could have been used as a night light. I'm sure people were thinking that too. I could almost hear the whispers in the ears from one spouse to another - "Honey, he would be great in the hallway by the bathroom."

These aren't the kind of thoughts a groom should be having when he's about to make the most important promises to his almost-wife in front of hundreds of family and friends. He should be thinking about how lucky he is, how much he's in love with his bride, the memories that are about to be made, the honeymoon, the honeymoon (I know I repeated that). All I could think about was my zipper, my voice, and my whiteness. What the heck was wrong with me!? Thankfully, I have an amazing wife who has a high tolerance for all my episodes and my unusual shine.

This experience is eerily similar to my biggest fear and challenge as a Christian. Have I taken my vows with God seriously? A bigger and more important question is, Have I been faithful to the promises I made? Can people tell that we're still together? When I walk around doing life, can people see the ring? Is it obvious that I'm not even thinking about leaving Him? Is it clear that I'm taking the relationship seriously? That I'm doing my part in the marriage?

Marriage is God's idea, right? I mean He created it, invented the whole leaving and cleaving thing. When I look at how God views marriage - how serious it is to Him, how sacred, how holy, and pure, how much more serious is he about our marriage to Him? The Bible says that God is a jealous God. He doesn't want us cheating on Him. Why? Because He knows He's the best thing that could ever happen to us. Everything else is fake; it's a lie. It may have the appearance of being something better. It may promise many things, but it can never deliver.

I encourage you to take a long, hard look at the vows you made to God way back when. Did you know what you were doing, what you were saying, what you promised? There are hundreds of people looking on. What are they witnessing in you're life today? I think many of us are still hanging on to us. We're what fills our minds and thoughts even in the midst of something as life changing and sacred as a wedding ceremony. We can't seem to take one hand off the steering wheel to allow God to do the driving. We have the hardest time just completely letting go and allowing God to be enough. It keeps us from doing more - from being more. It keeps our light dim and our seasoning bland. We keep reaching for the lies and empty promises that always leave us hurting and wanting more. We're so worried about what's hip and what's not that our Christianity has become lame, boring, and predictable. I don't remember much of anything in the Bible being predictable, but that's another post.

First, we have to believe that He is enough and what He did was enough - that He's worth fighting for, dying for, loving for. Then, we actually have to do the work of living like that's true. That's the part that draws us closer and others closer.

Marriage is two forces joining together creating more power then when they were separate. It's our choice of how much power we want to create in our lives and in the lives of those around us through Christ.