I have this issue, chances are you have it as well...one way or another. It's the issue of everybody else and the impact they have on how we act, what we say, how we think, and what we do. For me it's the most annoying thing i deal with as a human. It's annoying because i wrestle with it constantly. I care way too much about what other people think and say about me. Right now, writing this blog, there are faces flashing before my eyes. And all the faces are you and i'm predicting in my mind how you'll react and what you'll say. I've written and erased, written and erased and written and erased some more. It's enough to drive a man crazy. I know i'm not a polished, established, famous writer and so i can't worry about what everyone is going to say- i'm just trying it out and seeing what happens. If it sucks, no one will read it. If its good or half decent people will read it. I've learned enough to know that i will never do anything, never be good at anything unless i try. I know that sounds like the little engine that could- but it's still true. The engine knew what he was talking about.
Another example of my patheticness. I was walking up to someone the other day and i was afraid of what they were going to say about a jacket i was wearing. "Is he going to make fun of it, laugh at it, talk about it with his friends and laugh some more about it later?" WHO FREAKEN CARES, GOOD GREIF- HE'S NOT GODS GIFT TO FASION OR TO WHAT'S TRENDY. AND WHO CARES WHATS TRENDY. I'M GOING TO START WEARING SOCKS ON MY ARMS AND BOXERS ON THE OUTSIDE OF MY JEANS. YEA THAT WILL SHOW THEM ALLLLLLLL." Yes, i have these conversations and outbursts with myself.
Though i still deal with 'everybody else' it's me that has the issue, not them- though many people contribute to the problem- i can't blame others for me not having a stronger backbone, lack of confidence, low self-esteem, etc. If i do- which it's sooooo easy to- things will never change. I'll continue to have those internal thoughts of socks and boxers on weird places.
Another example of my patheticness. I was walking up to someone the other day and i was afraid of what they were going to say about a jacket i was wearing. "Is he going to make fun of it, laugh at it, talk about it with his friends and laugh some more about it later?" WHO FREAKEN CARES, GOOD GREIF- HE'S NOT GODS GIFT TO FASION OR TO WHAT'S TRENDY. AND WHO CARES WHATS TRENDY. I'M GOING TO START WEARING SOCKS ON MY ARMS AND BOXERS ON THE OUTSIDE OF MY JEANS. YEA THAT WILL SHOW THEM ALLLLLLLL." Yes, i have these conversations and outbursts with myself.
Though i still deal with 'everybody else' it's me that has the issue, not them- though many people contribute to the problem- i can't blame others for me not having a stronger backbone, lack of confidence, low self-esteem, etc. If i do- which it's sooooo easy to- things will never change. I'll continue to have those internal thoughts of socks and boxers on weird places.
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